Posts Tagged ‘dedication’

My life seems to be all about exhaustion these days, and it makes me feel like a wimp.

Why is it I can’t manage to do anything after I come home from the day job?  I’m the one who can overcome obstacles.  I’m the one who pulls all-nighters trying to get things done for my crafty business.  These days I can’t even think hard enough to compose a list of things to do much less actually do those things.  The exhaustion I have is emotional, and the worst part – it comes from the day job.

I never, in a million years, would have guessed I have so much invested in this job.  My dedication these days is puzzling, and is sucking the life out of me.

I have to detach myself.

Did I just say that?  I’ve despised so much about my day job for so long, feeling very removed from it, and yet now I feel I have to detach.  When did I become attached?  About two months ago when turned in my intent to retire letter.

I never realized what an important job I have and how difficult it is to train a replacement.  I never realized that several people actual covet my job and resent the process by which my replacement has been chosen (and I don’t blame them).  I never realized how much I want those I work with to have a smooth transition to the next person to hold my job.

Well, I don’t like this one bit.  It has to stop, because I’m tired, and tired of feeling like a wimp.  Today I will become strong again and leave the mental garbage at work.  After all, I have a thirty-five-year history of doing just that.

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