Auntie B's Wax

I’m sick.

I’ve been sick for five days now.

It started with lethargy and a cough that sent fumes that smelled like cauliflower into my nasal cavity.  I had eaten no cauliflower.  The cough became more severe and very productive.

Then came the sniffles, which led to a lot of sneezing in addition to the coughing.  I’m a very noisy sick person.

Before I knew it sniffling was no longer possible as the mucus in my sinuses had become thick globules of snot that refused to be blown out by force.  That doesn’t mean I didn’t try, which attempts put me in fear of blowing my eyeballs out of their sockets.

There was a fever early on, but it never was over 100°.  At least it put some roses in my cheeks.  My temperature got back to normal after a couple of days with the help of some fever-reducing blue pills.  I also took some antihistamine, but that didn’t do much except convince me it was keeping that gunky stuff locked in my sinuses, which I want extinguished as soon as possible.

The exertion caused by the coughing and sneezing started making my back, chest and stomach muscles ache, and soon I couldn’t do either without bending over from simple muscle pain.

My head is still clogged, which has led to a throbbing sensation at the base of my nose between the eyes, a severe loss of hearing, and a slight bit of dizziness.

Fortunately, I’ve had Husby to look after me.  He leaves me alone when I want to be left alone.  He feeds me when I’m hungry.  He doesn’t dry heave when I make all the sick noises I tend to make.  He knows exactly how to make things as good as they can be short of waving a magic wand and making it all go away.

“The Dangers of Influenza are manifold, but they can be avoided or minimized by correctly fortifying the system. The use of a pure and wholesome stimulant is approved and recommended by medical men, and analytical tests of ‘Black & White’ Scotch Whisky have justified their recommendations. You can be sure of these distinctive medicinal qualities by purchasing BLACK & WHITE Scotch Whisky.”

I’m still coughing and sneezing, but not as much as when this nightmare began.  My head is stuffed with what seems like a bowl of thick ass-pick aspic my mother-in-law used to make – slimy, gelatinous, and so very distasteful.  I’m deaf as a post and have to walk with a wide gait to prevent from tipping over for dizziness.

Today Husby woke up coughing and feeling unrested after a full night’s sleep.  As the day is wearing on he feels more listless and is coughing more.

The care-giving torch is being passed.  It’s time for me to buck up.

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