Archive for March, 2016

Wordless Wednesday

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Husby and I made plans to go to Gander Mountain to pick up a pair of boots for me.  Hiking boots that double as boots I can wear in the winter when dress boots are too dressy and snow boots are too clunky.  He’s been wanting me to get some new boots like this for a while (which is curious to me) and finally he had a coupon for $40 off anything at Gander Mountain.  There was no excuse for me not to get the boots.

The thing is, it’s March.  We’ve had temperatures ranging from 30 degrees to 65 degrees so far this month, and this week a major winter snow storm was predicted for our corner of the world on the day we’d planned to go shopping.  When I woke up that morning the sky was dark and threatening, but nothing was falling from the sky.  The forecast said 6-8 inches of snow for us, so right away I told Husby that if he didn’t want to go shopping we didn’t have to.  He said he didn’t care what the weather man said.  Once again I told him I didn’t need to buy boots today, there’s no hurry, and like a good husband who likes to avoid useless discussions he said, “okay, we won’t go today.”

I was a little relieved at first, but then my psychobabble kicked in and reminded me that I was trying to quit procrastinating on things.  There was really no evidence outside that traveling twenty minutes from our house would be threatening, especially at the time of day we’d be going shopping.  We made a plan and should stick to the plan, I told myself.  I approached Husby again and told him how stupid I felt for even trying to put off a shopping trip that would only benefit me.  Seriously, what wife wouldn’t want her husband to take her shopping?!

We went.

We walked into the huge store and made a b-line to the shoes and boots, which were right inside the front door.  I took a quick look at what they had to offer and found what I wanted.  I asked Rick the shoe guy if I could see that style in a 7 1/2, I tried them on with the socks I’d be wearing with them (I remembered to bring them along), they were perfect, and we checked out.  Quick shopping is the best if you ask me, especially as I have shopping anxiety.

Leather, with very fine arch support and superior gription.

Not only did I get a new pair of boots, Husby took me out to lunch at White Castle for some sliders (aka small hamburgers) with vinyl (aka cheese) accompanied by nails (aka French fries) and scabs (aka fried onion chips).  And the best thing about the day?  We were just north of the big storm line so there was no hazardous driving for the duration of our field trip.  I’m so glad I didn’t procrastinate.  I’m so glad I have a husband who wants me to have good, sturdy boots.  And I’m really, really glad there is such a thing as White Castle.

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Things are kind of weird at the Auntie B’s Wax World Headquarters these days.  Luckily I know someone who’s going through the same weirdness I am.  The someone is my long-time friend Mary Ann, and the weirdness is commonly known as retirement.

Don’t roll your eyes, you nine-to-fivers.  I used to react the same way when anyone spoke of anything but utter joy when it came to retirement, but in reality it’s weird.

Mary Ann and I had lunch and discussed something we’d never imagine discussing six months ago – how weird retirement is.  It’s not bad, but it’s definitely different.  Neither of us wants to go back to work, but both of us are finding the abundance of time both heavenly and hellish.  In a word, weird.

We’re adjusting to a new way a life, not unlike when a young adult moves out on her own for the first time.  I remember the time soon after I moved into my first apartment how I mixed up a batch of chocolate chip cookie dough and ate it with a spoon.  On the couch in front of the TV!  Why?  Because I could. Even though it felt glorious, it was kind of weird.

Mary Ann and I concluded that procrastination equals cookie dough during the early stages of retirement.  Why would I wait to clean the bathroom?  Because I can.  Why would I put off folding laundry when it’s done drying?  Because I can. As luxurious as that may sound (despite wrinkled clothes and a scummy bathtub), what we do during the time we’re not doing those other things seems…weird.  And the guilt ensues.

We made a pact with each other to develop some kind of routine that fits our respective lifestyles.  Even though eating raw cookie dough gave me a sense of freedom when I was embarking on my new adult life, it didn’t become a regular practice.  While embarking on my new retired life I’m have a new sense of freedom, but procrastination shouldn’t become a regular practice.

To procrastination I say, as I said to my former employer, “I QUIT.”  Hopefully that will put an end to the weirdness.

PS – Happy St. Patrick’s Day!  Interestingly, today would have marked my 36th year working for the government.  I don’t miss it at all, even though things are kind of weird.

PPS – The first person to tell me how many times the word “weird” is used in this post will receive an invisible gift.


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