Archive for July, 2014

So here’s the thing.  I’m having a little fit of pique these days and it’s frustrating me to no end.  I can’t seem to motivate myself to do anything more than the bare basics of survival.  You know, eating, some sleeping (not enough, of course), keeping my abode clear of dust bunnies, and earning a living.  My writing has come to a standstill, and that’s even counting e-mails to people, commenting on blogs I might have time to read, and responding to comments on my blog, much less blogging or writing for pure pleasure.  It’s a disgrace and I feel like Dobby, wanting to beat myself about the head and neck for not living up to my potential.

Dobby is not living up to his potential. Dobby must punish himself!

What can lift me up?  I know ~ this weekend I’ll be at the Cannon Falls Wine and Art Festival showing my wares.  I’m really looking forward to it, and I have a lot of candles, drink charms and magnets to show the world.  And don’t even doubt the whole world will be there.  It’s a great show with a ton of artists and a whole bunch of local wineries offering samples of their delicious wines.  I even got a haircut for the event!

Hannah’s Bend Park during the Cannon Falls Wine and Art Festival. So much fun!

I’m looking forward to hobnobbing with customers and fellow vendors, eating some good food and listening to music.  I’ll go into the weekend with a spectacular attitude that will ground me into my crafty business.  When that happens everything else seems to fall into place.  Who wouldn’t be energized by a weekend in a beautiful park by the river, meandering along a path of lovely artwork and delightful wines?  Plus, I know spending some time close up with my products and the people who enjoy them (and will hopefully buy them) will give me a boost of energy to push me out of my funk.  I’ll have more energy than I’ve had in a while and will be free once again ~ I’ll feel like Dobby, getting his sock to freedom.


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Time has been a weird thing this past week.  Sleep patterns and free time are disheveled, interrupted with a mental to-do list.  Productive time is unfocused and laborious.  The bright spot is the fact that I haven’t had to think about the day job.  Mom went into the hospital last Tuesday and everything has been centered around her and her care.  I don’t mean for that to sound like an imposition, because it’s a priority I’m glad to work around.  But time…time is so turned around.

It’s during events like this that I realize I’m much more routine-oriented than I think.  The interesting thing about that is when I compare my life with others mine seems to be so much more free-floating.  But even with so much flexibility I have I still have my routines; I hope I’ll be able to get back into them this week so time once again is measured by hours and minutes rather than by darkness and light.  I want to be able to tell someone what day of the week it is, and more heroically the precise date on the calendar.

Mom is doing well and I’ll be back to work this week.  She’ll still be a priority as I’ll be available to help with anything she and Dad need and will be spending some time with them when I normally wouldn’t if she hadn’t had surgery.  But time will become more clear.  I’ll get back to my sleeping routine, my work routine and my home keeping routine.  That thought is somewhat comforting.

On the other hand, a timeless life might be a good thing if I got used to it.  To eat when I’m hungry rather than at specific times of the day.  To sleep when I’m tired and to wake without an alarm telling me I have to.  I could cook and clean into the night if I wanted to.  I could work on my crafty business with no constraints.  Perhaps my life will be more like that after I retire from the day job.

But still, some routine is good.  It’s grounding and provides some discipline to do the things that must be done.

At this point I can’t really say if I’d prefer a timeless life or a routine-oriented life.  Maybe something in between.  Don’t make me decide right now.  Right now I’m just living in the moment, even though I’m not really sure what time of day or night that moment is.

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