Posts Tagged ‘anxiety’


Husby and I were at a craft show where we met a bunch of people right away.  There were two couples working together, two guys working together, and one other guy who was hanging out with one of the couples.  I remember the women’s names, Gwen and Kate.  I can’t remember the guys’ names.

The show was set up on a marina and in the adjacent park.  I was amazed that my assigned space was actually on one of the boats in the marina.  So very cool, and nice that I didn’t have to set up a canopy as everything could be set up under the cover of the boat.  Husby and I set up right away and even though the show didn’t start until the next day lots of people were stopping by to see what I had to offer.

At one point I came to an uncomfortable realization.  I took Gwen aside and said, “I’m so embarrassed, but could you tell me what state we’re in?”  I would have asked Husby but he was off swimming.  Gwen looked at me like I was crazy and didn’t even answer me, as if I didn’t deserve to know.  Such a premiere show and she doesn’t even know what state she’s in?

I decided it didn’t matter, but as Husby and I were sitting around with these seven other people we had met I asked again.  “What state are we in?”  One of the men responded “New Orleans.”  I looked at him and clicked my tongue.  “New Orleans isn’t a state, and besides, if I was in New Orleans I’d know, and this isn’t it”  It was at that point I knew these people weren’t going to be my friends if they couldn’t even help me out in my addle-minded condition.

Husby and I went back to the boat slip where my display was set up.  To my horror the entire boat was gone.  Gone!  Gone with all of my products!

At that point I woke up.  I likened this dream to those where you go to school and realize you have no clothes on, or forgot your locker combination.  I never did find out what state we were in, and when I relayed the dream to Husby he said “I think you were in the state of confusion.”  Ha ha.

Am I having craft show anxiety?  Am I having social interaction anxiety?  Am I having house boat anxiety?  I’m not really sure, but I am sure the dream is anxiety-based.

Funny, I don’t feel anxious in my waking state, but maybe I should pay attention to my subconscious.  First order of business is to be sure to know what state I’m in when at a craft show.  Secondly, don’t trust being set up on someone else’s boat.

Here’s to a week devoted to researching shows to do in the 2013 season.

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Taking Charge

I know you’ve all experienced life’s ups and downs.  Lately, it seems, my life has been nothing but downs and downs.  At least that’s what my perception has been.  Truly I have nothing to complain about, but you know how it is when your brain kind of melts away and you lose all the tools needed to help you cope with those downs?  Maybe that just happens to me.

After a few especially trying weeks I finally went to see a doctor and was feeling empowered.  Don’t ask why that made me feel empowered, but know I was feeling ever big and very adult-like for doing it.  I was happily driving home from my appointment when I went to shift gears on my 1998 Saturn (nothing but a manual transmission for me) and she completely failed me.  After fourteen years she decided to take leave of her service and left me stranded in the middle of the street, causing a minor traffic jam.

Dead.  My beloved car was dead.*  Of course by this time the empowerment I was feeling was taken over by that pesky anxiety I’ve been enduring.  Husby was out of town and I had to deal with the situation all…by…myself.  But guess what?  I did it!  With a little help from a phone call to Pinky (brother-in-law and really smart about all things car-related) I got a tow truck to come pick me and my car up and haul our sorry little selves back home.

Husby returned home that evening and we trashed all plans for the next day in order to go car shopping.  Yay!  More anxiety!  My decision-making skills have been on a major tropical vacation lately so this task seemed especially daunting.  Luckily Husby was with me and we didn’t encounter any high-pressure sales people on our joy test-riding adventure.  Finally we settled on the car we both liked.  Empowered again! Now I’m all that driving around in my new car, which looks like a space pod.

The Space Pod

Here’s the thing. It doesn’t matter what you think you can’t do because chances are pretty good you can if you take off your scardy pants and go for it. With the events of the past couple of weeks I’m feeling ready to take some chances, because right or wrong going out on a limb once in a while just makes you feel more alive.

* My wonderful little Saturn lost her life, but she became an organ doner.  Her salvagable parts will go to other Saturns to prolong their lives.  Yay!

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This Is A Test

There’s something in the air. The universe is conducting a test, I’m sure of it. The bad juju has been hanging around for months now and it’s wearing people down. It’s a test I tell you. A test to see what we’re made of.

I’ve seen others struggling through sad or difficult events. I’ve heard “what else can possibly go wrong?” after a landslide of misfortune. The synchronicity of these unfortunate happenings between unrelated people is just too remarkable.

One of my challenges is a nagging, free-floating anxiety. A nervousness about I-don’t-know-what. It could be waning hormones or other wonky chemicals. Or maybe I have some deep, dark conflict hiding in the recesses of my mind manifesting itself with sweaty palms and quickened breath.

I haven’t figured out what’s going on with the universe or why its nasty pranks are affecting me the way they are, but whenever I’m feeling especially anxious my brain clicks into the Mel Brooks channel and I get this song in my head. It sticks there for a while too.

It could be worse. I mean, if you’re suffering from high anxiety why wouldn’t you want a sassy song like that playing in your mind? It takes the edge off a little.

How is the universe treating you lately?

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Let’s delve into my psyche today.  I wouldn’t ordinarily divulge my psychological idiosyncracies, but I’m so proud to have survived my latest shopping excursion I have to share with you all.

You see, shopping gives me a tremendous amount of anxiety.  I’m not sure why this is, but I avoid shopping as much as I can.  It’s completely against the female stereotype, but there it is.  I walk around in outdated clothes because new clothes are in stores (I loathe stores), and cost way more than I think they’re worth (I don’t want to be poor).  I get sweaty palms when I have to order up wax, fragrance oils and dyes for my candle production.  I curse myself when a pan or cooking utensil becomes unusable – replacement calls for a shopping trip.  You get the idea.

This past weekend I couldn’t put it off any longer.  A trip to a store (or two) was necessary.  Luckily Husby agreed to accompany me.  Without him I would have collapsed into a mass of indecision, paralyzed in the retail headlights, at the mercy of *gasp* a sales person.

Yep, after eighteen years of fine service the washer and dryer Husby bought before we were married finally began acting in a way that made us fear for our lives.  They had to be replaced, which meant shopping.  Big shopping.  This shopping was such a frightful thought to me I put off the task for two weeks before I decided my exploding dryer anxiety outweighed my shopping anxiety.

Surprisingly it was relatively painless, with Husby’s help.  We got a pretty fancy washer/dryer combo, and on sale to boot.  With the money we saved on that we threw all caution to the wind and got ourselves a new dehumidifier too.  Husby then rewarded my bravery with lunch at a nearby restaurant.  Food rewards are always well received.

All that’s left is the big delivery day and I can start doing laundry in a whole new way.  Apparently this new-fangled washer works without a center twisty agitator thing, which is gentler on clothes.  You know what that means?  Longer lasting clothes = less clothes shopping for me!  Yay!

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