Auntie B's Wax

“Don’t get so officious, you’re not yourself when you’re officious.
That’s the curse of a government job.”
~ Maude

Dame Marjorie Chardem, better known as Maude, is a person who guides me through life with her enthusiasm and wisdom.  She lives in the movie Harold and Maude, my favorite movie of all time.

Maude has a penchant for stealing cars but doesn’t have a driver’s license because she doesn’t “believe in them.”  That’s what she told the police officer who pulled her over for speeding.  With some prodding the police officer found out that not only had she been speeding but had also stolen the truck she was driving, as well as the little tree and shovel in the back of the truck.  The discourse between Maude and the police officer prompted her to comment on officiousness.

“That’s the curse of a government job.”

I have a government job and I know all about officiousness.  I’m professional with my coworkers, supervisors, and the clients I meet nearly every day.  The thing is, I work in an area away from most of the people I work with, so they don’t see me rolling my eyes at the ridiculousness of government protocol.  They don’t hear me swearing under my breath about mistakes I make in the midst of the overwhelmedness of my workload.  They don’t know I’m burnt out and resentful of our clients.  I’m a professional.  I’m officious.  At least in the eyes of those with whom I work.

But as Maude says, “you’re not yourself when you’re officious.”  How true that is.  If that’s the case, I can only assume “myself” is hidden for ten hours a day, five days a week.  That can’t be a good thing, and it sucks a lot of energy out of me.  But if I were “myself,” I would have been fired from my job a long time ago.

I’ve been trying to balance officiousness with my true self for over three decades.  Psychologically speaking, that’s a heavy load to carry and can’t be too helpful in the quest for self-actualization – too much cognitive dissonance.  It makes me wonder how much I’ll flourish after I retire from the day job and only have to be myself.  My guess is…lots.

Maude ended up distracting the officious police officer and stealing his motorcycle to get on with her business of replanting the little city tree in the forest.  When Harold and Maude reached the forest and planted the tree Maude said, “The earth is my body and my head is in the stars…who said that?”  Harold replies, “I don’t know.”  Maude smiles and says, “Well, I guess I did.”

I’m so looking forward to trashing my officiousness.  I want to be like Maude.  I want to be myself.