It’s just not fair. There she is with her size four body, all firm and perky. Her hair is just so and every day she smells of a different perfume. Her nails are perfectly manicured and I’m pretty sure that wax job on her legs goes all the way to Brazil, if you know what I mean. While the vice presidents stand in line to take her out to lunch for shrimp cocktails and filet mignon I’m sitting at my desk eating Lucky Charms out of a Ziploc bag.
So I’m not the high-maintenance type, and that’s okay. If she wants to spend all that money on herself that’s just fine and good. She looks great, actually. The thing is, she’s mean. She’s mostly mean to other women. She’s also mean to the men she’s used up. She’s making her way to the top of the company with her experience, the kind of experience which would account for the Brazilian wax. I don’t worry too much; she’ll be promoted out of here before long because she flirted with and kissed the right guy. Before she goes, I think I’ll leave this little present on her desk.
Auntie B's Wax 
she’s a hussy, is what she is!
You know it!
LOL
What a tramp! Oh, wait, I guess that’s redundant. I hope the present you’re leaving on her desk is a box of rocks? 🙂
No, I’m leaving her the magnet as a subversive message. I edited my post to be more clear about that. However, I still think the box of rocks story is the best ever! I was so sneaky back then, and security wasn’t an issue back in the olden days.
🙂