Picture this: a young woman in her early twenties decked out in leather pants and thigh-high boots and only a camisole covering her upper body. Her long hair is brushed away from one side of her face and held fast with a sparkly barrette. The other side of her face is partly covered by the long mane of intentionally chaotic hair. She’s heading into a popular danceteria in Minneapolis to watch one of her favorite bands play live. The Suburbs. The dance floor will be packed with hot, sweaty bodies, hers included, slam dancing to Baby Heartbeat and Music for the Boys.
That young woman was me. Those were days that will remain in my mind as some of the most fun days of my life. But things are different now. I’m older, and slam dancing is not only unfashionable, but also dangerous for someone who may or may not have the brittle bones of a woman in her fifties. However, being a woman in my fifties doesn’t keep me from loving the music of my youth. I wear jeans and a sweater instead of leather pants and thigh-high boots. I have a neat little bob hairdo instead of a longer, wilder mane. But in my head and heart I’m still that slam-dancing girl. I remember what it was like to walk into the dark, smoky venue that was First Avenue. I remember the adrenaline and the thumping bass that became one with my own heartbeat.

My little DiscMan and über fancy speakers set up in Craftland
I got home early from work today and headed straight for Craftland. While listening to the music I slam-danced to thirty plus years ago to I deplasticized and flattened 144 bottle caps for future drink charms and magnets.

The beginning of a beautiful craft.
Doing a different thing to the same music. Recalling old times while living my present life. All is good.
Remember yourself this weekend.
I believe I’m now, in my 50s, finally becoming more of who I really am. When I try to “remember myself” as you suggest, I remember a girl who maybe spent too much time dreaming about her life instead of living it. Or threw herself into a role (i.e. wife, mother, daughter) so fully that she forgot to really enjoy all the moments.
You grew up a lot faster than I did, getting married and having kids right away. You had a completely different “then” than I did. I’m glad you can more appreciate the present, and you, now that you’ve blossomed into the complete woman that you are.
Hope you’re recuperating okay. Will you PLEASE respond to my e-mail? I’m going insane awaiting your “biggie” news!
I love this post! We hold all of those versions of ourselves inside, I’m sure. I can still surprise my daughters when a bit of the feisty teen-aged me – pre motherhood and adult responsibility me – shows herself. Thanks, Sara!
We are many versions of ourselves, aren’t we? I like to cherish all of the parts of me ~ even the parts that didn’t make such wise decisions. But what fun I had!!
Love it Sara I can see you then and now….. rock on sister.
Kath, I just love your comment. Rock on, indeed.